


Ringtone

by LyingTurtle



Series: Goddard Business Casual [3]
Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: customized ringtones, only rated teen for some song lyrics used
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 20:10:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13597464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyingTurtle/pseuds/LyingTurtle
Summary: Do you ever set ringtone for someone and forget you put it there?  Jacobi does.





	Ringtone

“Dammit, I think I lost my phone” Jacobi sighed, shaking out his jacket for the third time while Kepler and Maxwell waited by the door, ready to go to dinner on one of the rare occasions where they actually had enough free time and good standing to eat together.

“You say that everytime you forget you put it in your jacket” Maxwell rolled her eyes, ready to get on with the show.  It was her turn to pick the eatery and she could already feel the warm Hibachi grill calling her name.

“Yeah well,” Jacobi shook his jacket with a spiteful energy, glaring her down.  She rolled her eyes, muttering something about being childish.

“Here, we can solve this in under a minute” Kepler pulled out his phone, pulling up his contacts to the speed dials.

“Uh sir that's really not necessary!” Jacobis eyes went wide as saucers, confusing Maxwell as he looked to her desperately as though willing her to stop Kepler.

“I'm not going to sit here all night waiting” Jacobi screwed his eyes shut, muttering a curse under his breath as Kepler hit his contact.  All of a sudden a chorus of little voices began singing from the inner lining of his coat pocket.

_ “I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family” _

“Jacobi?” Kepler asked calmly.

“Mhmm?”  Jacobi kept slowly shaking his head, wishing it all away.

_ “With a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you, won’t you say you love me too?” _

“What on god's green earth am I listening to!?” He yelled.  Jacobi sprung to action quickly fumbling to turn it off, leaving an increasingly awkward silence in its wake.

“Sir, I can explain.  It was uh, I meant to put it for someone else”

“Clearly!” He whirled around to face Maxwell, “And you!”

“Me?!” She gaped, looking to Jacobi who looked equally confused.

“Her?” He echoed.

“What's yours, tell me now before I find out for myself”

“Wha- just because he did it doesn't mean I did too!  You can't just blame me along with him because we share  _ some  _ habits!” Kepler shook his head, scrolling down to his second speed dial and hitting her number.

_ “Talk to corporate, like a boss, approve memos, like a boss, lead a workshop, like a boss, remember birthdays, like a boss” _

“You think you're just so clever, don't you?”

“No sir” she sighed, one hand holding up her head in her dejected state

_ “Jump out a window, like a boss, suck a dude’s dick, like a boss, score some coke, like a boss, crash a car, like a boss, suck my own dick, like a boss” _

“Is that what you think I do in a day, Dr. Maxwell?”

“No sir… Well the car thing has happened, and the window, I don't know about the dic-”

“And you find this to be an appropriate ringtone because?!”

“Because,” she searched around for words but found them all to be pressing the seal harder on her death certificate.

“Okay no! I know you!” Jacobi snapped, pointing at Kepler accusatory.  Maxwell gave a hasty shake of her head no, drawing both hands into an X over her throat as a signal.

“You know me?”l

“I know you!  I know there's no way you hadn't thought of doing the exact same thing, so let's really find out how one sided this is!”  Jacobi quickly hit the call button for him and watched with no small amount of satisfaction as Kepler stood there stone faced.

The ring that came from his pocket was a complete normal series of electronic beeps.  Jacobi had to force his mouth shut as he grappled with an attempt to call out some lie or trick he pulled, coming up with nothing.

“Satisfied?”

“No” Jacobi sighed, staring down at his feet in defeat.

“Good.  Now phones, both of you” begrudgingly they pulled out their phones and handed them over for him to dump into his pocket.  “In summation, I'm very disappointed, slightly appealed, and more than a normal amount of angry.  But I'm hungry so for now you two can buy me dinner.  Now come on, the self driving car might put itself in storage if we keep it waiting longer”

He opened up the door and went out first, leaving the two of them to fall into step.

“I didn't know you made one too” Maxwell whispered, finally putting a smile back on his face.

“I've had it for so long I can't believe he only found out now!”

“Want to edit some cutaways later?”

“Let's do it”

**Author's Note:**

> Just for reference, Jacobi's ringtone for Maxwell is Best Friend by Aqua, and Maxwell's for Jacobi is a complication every time they make a cannon sound in Hamilton.  
> Kepler does actually have different ringtones for people but each one is a slightly different normal sounding ringtone, except for Rachel's which is just a harsh metallic screeching.


End file.
